Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
