He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
