he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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