i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
