Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
