Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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