I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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