if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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