You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
