my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
