they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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