Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
