Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you would pick up someone in the library
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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