sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
