we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There r osticjed everywhere
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
