I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
