Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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