so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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