i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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