I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
