Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
