apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
