Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
