You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
