I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
