just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
