I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
