I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
