Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
