i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
