He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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