Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
