I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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