Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
