I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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