In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize