i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
