I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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