Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw a hot homeless man
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
