Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
