your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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