I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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