real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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