I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
