I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
