I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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