Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
