Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
