some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
