High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
