**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
