let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
