it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's never too late to be topless.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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