giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
