Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
