weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
